


Gravel

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction
Genre: BSDM, Bondage, Boxer Harry, Boxing, Kinky, M/M, Smut, Violence, exhibitionist kink, just trust me okay, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-07-18 05:47:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7301875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gravel crunches under the boots of a 22 year old boxer. He passes a 24 year old chain smoker with no will to live. There's no hope for either of them, but both wonder if they can find it in each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, yet another new fic. I'm excited for this one, I've never written one that's going to be so angsty or intense. This will contain violence and derogatory terms, because I want to make this realistic. It will also contain smut, so. Be prepared. Thank you for reading !

Third Person:  
Harry hoists his duffel bag over his right shoulder from his left as he makes his way to the boxing ring. It's a chilly day in November and the wind is nipping at his cheeks. He should've brought a beanie, or a scarf. Something. He didn't though, and now he's stuck to walk the gravel path without anything. Tonight is his first real boxing match. He's been training all this time for this moment. Getting to step into the ring, staring down his opponent. Harry couldn't suppress his smile as his pace picked up. He barely slept last night. It wasn't a good habit to get into, but Harry was shit at keeping good habits anyways. He kept on going towards the building, only having three more blocks to go. 

Louis sat with his back against the wall, smoking his second cigarette. He cursed himself for not bringing a jacket, but figured he can stay in the chilly air long enough to catch someone's eye. The building he was slumped up against was very noisy in his opinion. When he came here before, it was nothing like this. Now all of a sudden it's lit up, the whole nine yards. He silently takes another drag and turns to look at his outfit. It's the same as yesterday, his sheer black shirt with his tightest black skinnies. It may not have worked last night, but he was getting laid tonight no matter who he has to shag. Too bad he's so busy fantasizing over tonight's activities to notice the model like presence in front of him. That is, until the model starts speaking. 

"Aren't you... Cold?" Louis looks up at the tall boy and visibly checks him out. His legs stretched for miles, and his calves looked amazing. Louis could only imagine how strong his legs were and how long he could ride him for. He couldn't see his upper body all that well but he could tell he was fit. The active wear and duffel bag gave it away. 

"Nah, I'll be good yet." Harry furrowed his eyebrows. The small boy in front of him clearly wasn't fine. Goosebumps formed on his skin and his cheeks were coated pink. He sighed and dug around his bag before getting frustrated and taking the sweater he was wearing off. Before Louis knew it he had a sweater thrown over his head and a cig falling into his lap. 

"Oii! Watch it mate, these don't come cheap." Louis glared at Harry and put the cigarette in between his teeth. 

"Neither do hospital bills. Put on the sweater." Louis looked at him with disbelief. 

"I can't take your sweater, are you fucking crazy? We aren't dating or anything. I can't take this." He tried pushing the sweater off of himself but Harry's cold glare made him retract and push his back off the wall to put it on. It was a bit big on him but it was warm. Louis couldn't complain with the scent either. It was something between a musk and strawberry. One he wouldn't forget soon, that's for sure. 

"You should come to my match. It's inside, you can warm up more." Slight confusion took over Louis' face. Match for what? He knew Harry was sporty but he never thought he'd be competitive. Then again, Harry looked ready to kill a man with his icy expression and his arms crossed. 'His arms are fucking huge' Louis thought. 

"What do you mean match? All there is here is noisy fuckers who don't know how to control themselves." Harry rolled his eyes. He shifted his weight to his left leg.

"It's a boxing arena. There's multiple matches today. One of which I will be competing in in-" Harry checked his phone "-thirty minutes. Are you gonna come watch?" Louis looked at his black vans. 

"Is there a fee?" He was slightly embarrassed because he spent all of his money on cigarettes. Again. Harry looked down at him with sad eyes Louis couldn't see. Harry let out a sigh.

"Not if, listen. Not if you say you are my boyfriend. You don't have to do that of course. The offer is there though." Louis laughed now and took one last breath in from his cig before tossing it. Harry stepped it out. 

"That wouldn't work." Louis shook his head and stood up. He wasn't nearly as tall as Harry but he didn't have to be. His arse was far better. 

"Why's that? Do you not swing that way? 'S not a problem if you do or if you don't. I am personally queer, although I can make you my sexuality." Louis barked out a laugh. 

"I can make you my sexuality? What the fuck does that even mean?" Louis was killing himself laughing and Harry had a small smile playing on his face. 

"Hey, it rolls off the tongue nicely. Are you coming?" Harry asked and reached for Louis' hand. He let them hold hands.

"I could have you cumming later tonight." Harry let out a hearty chuckle and pulled Louis towards the back door. 

"I'll take it that you like dick then? At least a little bit?" Harry asked and Louis nodded his head. He knew it wouldn't end badly with Harry because Harry was queer. Whatever the fuck that meant, Louis didn't know. He knew the terms gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender. Louis honestly thought queer meant gay. Maybe it's something else? He made a mental note to ask later. 

The noise got three times louder as they entered the building. Harry had on a genuine smile and he relaxed noticeably in Louis' grasp. It was clear he's meant for this atmosphere. Louis isn't, but he's glad for the warm air, not to mention the warm hand in his. Someone came to Harry and clapped a hand on his back. Louis remained calm and collected on the outside, looking away as the man spoke. 

"Harry! Glad you could finally make it, you cocksucker. Your match starts right after this one, which is soon." The man spoke. He looked between the two boys and finally noticed their hands. "Well, who's this?" Harry just shrugged and pulled Louis closer. 

"This is my boyfriend. Thought I'd bring him along." Harry suddenly realizes the tragic flaw in his plan. He didn't ask for the boys name. Luckily Louis was quick to stick out his hand and offer a warm greeting. 

"Louis Tomlinson. Nice to meet you." He shook the mans hand and then turned back to Harry. 

"How come you never mentioned you had a boyfriend? Could've brought him around at some point mate." Harry scoffed. 

"Not that important. Anyways I should go get ready. Go find a seat near the front babe." Harry said and pointed Louis off to the seating area. He obliged, standing near the edge and waiting for Harry to come out. His phone was dead, has been for a couple days now. He hasn't found a charger plug in, or even a charger, to use in the past couple days. He waits patiently though, and soon the first round starts. Louis notices how Harry plays defensive and then when the opponent makes a mistake he turns offensive. Although Louis doesn't know jack shit about boxing, or any other sport besides footie, he was pretty sure Harry was winning. He took a few jabs here and there and-lone behold- cut himself on the stool he sat on. Louis could tell that he was working hard. Harry's muscles were definitely something to be praised as well. He could hear the crowd cheer both sides on but in the end, Louis was cheering the loudest. 

Finally the match was over and Harry had won by a hair. He was pretty beat up at that point but he still have a big smile when Louis walked up. 

"Hello babe" Louis smiled at Harry and walked up to kiss him. 

"What was that for?" Harry whispered. 

"You won your match. I'm so proud of you." Then Louis leaned over Harry to whisper in his ear. "Just keeping up the act darling. Also, you did so well tonight. How about a celebratory blowjob?" He pulled away and Harry just smiled and took a swig of his bottle. 

"Can't say no to that. Let me get cleaned up. Coming to mine?" And shit, Harry was actually inviting him over. Louis didn't think this through. He could go over, but then he'd probably be kicked out. At least he's good for the night. 

"Can't say no to that." Harry smirks and walks off. Louis goes by the door to wait for him and they walk out together.

~~~~~~

"Lou- Louis fuck." Harry has been pushed on to the bed and Louis currently has his pretty pink lips wrapped around him. He couldn't have imagined Louis would be this good, but maybe he's had practice. Suddenly Louis' nose is pressed to Harry's abdomen and his cock is down Louis' throat and it's so pretty that Harry is coming right then and there. He pants as Louis pulls off of him and Harry reaches over to jerk Louis off and kiss the cum off of his lips. Louis comes undone within a couple of minutes and pulls away. 

"Stay the night. Please." Harry whispers against Louis' mouth. 

"Can't say no to that." Louis replies back, and crawls under the covers. Harry decides he can clean everything up tomorrow.


	2. I Stalk His Intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My internet has been down oh my gosh. Thank you for reading this though ! I plan to make it angsty. We'll see.

Third Person:  
Harry woke up feeling oddly refreshed. It was weird to him because he also felt sore. He didn't have sex though, it's just from his match. Groggily he rubs his eyes and looks over to the feather haired boy by the window. He was naked still, cigarette dangling from his hand as he bent over and looked through the window. Harry knew he should be aroused at the sight of a naked boy bent over, but he wasn't. All he could see was a piece of art that's been battered and bruised. He had a scar on his side, bruises on his arm. Harry was also suddenly aware of how tired he looked. Sure, Louis had gotten enough sleep. He looked more tired in the sense that he couldn't handle life anymore. That he was doing everything in his power to stay alive yet he had no more power. It was bittersweet.

    Louis glanced over to see Harry watching him. Not creepily, no his eyes where soft. He was taking in all that was Louis as far as he could go. Harry looked tired, like he hadn't gotten enough sleep. The bottom half of his body was hidden underneath the blanket still, and Louis could see bruises forming on his chest and wrists where the gloves must've scuffed. He was toned, and he had tattoos littering his chest. If Louis was being honest, he looked like a model in that instance. Harry's hair was messily pushed back and his green eyes where so intense Louis forgot how to breathe. They stayed there and looked at each other for a while. Louis finished off his cigarette and Harry shuffled around. 

    "Do you want some breakfast?" Harry spoke out. When's the last time he's had breakfast? A few days ago probably. Louis nods his head and puts out his cigarette, following Harry out of the room. "Nice arse by the way." Louis blushes at that. He definitely wasn't lacking in the ass department, but hearing it come from this almost model was flattering. 

    "Erm, thanks. What are you making?" Louis said as he sat down at the island in Harry's kitchen. He didn't really have a table, just an island and the counter space. Right across the kitchen was the living room and Louis noted he only had one couch but two bookshelves. Who puts their priority in books? 

    "I was thinking pancakes. Although, eggs would be healthier. What do you think?" Louis smiled. He wasn't very fond of eggs, but they are healthier. For Harry anyways, doesn't really matter for Louis. 

    "Do you have another match today?" Harry shook his head. "Then pancakes. They're better anyways." Harry looked over his shoulder as he got out a bowl. 

    "Don't like eggs?" Louis shook his head as he watched the naked boy cook. It was hot, to say the least.

    "Not particularly. Pancakes are great though. My favourite." Harry hummed and turned around. 

    "Good thing I'm good at making pancakes. Want sausage or bacon?" Louis bit his lip. He was trying not to get aroused, but it's getting kind of hard, both his self control and his dick, to not. 

    "Bacon. Can I suck your dick?" Harry drops his fork into the batter bowl. He turns around and Louis notes the blush coating his cheeks. 

    "Uhm, I guess? Why the request so early in the morning?" Louis pushed himself off of the chair to reveal his-probably painful-hard dick. He walked over to Harry and shifted him away from the stove. 

    "Well, if I was prancing around the kitchen naked, wouldn't you be aroused?" Louis runs his hands up and down Harry's body and presses them together. He's got Harry whimpering within seconds and it's enough for Louis to sink to his knees and take Harry into his hands. Harry stands there and braces himself against the counter, thankful Louis moved him over so he wouldn't hit the stove. His attention turns back to the boy on his knees, looking so pretty as his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks. Soon Louis is licking up the base of Harry's hard cock and taking the tip into his mouth. It's so slow and sensual that Harry is a whimpering mess and can't stop himself from practically face fucking the small boy. He takes it like a champ and takes Harry fully into his mouth, sliding down his throat. Harry let's out a deep moan and Louis hums around him. 

"Louis, babe. I'm not going to last long. Fuck." Harry can't stop himself from moaning and that only encourages Louis to hollow his cheeks and start playing with Harry's balls. That's all it takes for Harry to come down Louis' throat without warning and Louis pulls off of the taller boy so he can swallow it all. Well, attempt to swallow it all. Some dribbles down his chin and Louis just smiles up at Harry as he sits there with his hands on his lap and his bum sat on his legs. He looks perfectly submissive in Harry's eyes. He begins to think that he could do this everyday. Then he remembers that he travels too much and his mother would never approve of something like this. So he pushes long term thoughts away and brings the blue eyed boy up to kiss him. 

"Need some help with your situation?" Harry asks and Louis just shakes his head. 

"No, I uh, I already came..." Louis trails off and Harry pulls away surprised. 

"You mean you came from sucking me off?" Louis blushes and moves away to grab a towel. 

"Erm, yeah... Sorry..." Harry can tell he's embarrassed so he pulls him in and kisses him again. 

"Don't be sorry... That's hot." Louis just nods and blushes again. Harry turns around and starts up on the pancakes again. It's a good thing he didn't put any on before, because they would've been burnt at this point. Harry makes quick work of cooking and Louis' eyes wander the kitchen. He spots a charger on the wall and turns his attention back to Harry. 

"Can I charge my phone?" He asks. Harry just nods and Louis pushes himself off of the stool. Slowly he backtracks to the room they slept in and finds his phone. When he renters the kitchen he finds Harry waiting for him at the island. Louis quickly plugs in his phone and sits down with Harry. They eat in silence and for once Harry doesn't feel like kicking last nights hookup out and Louis doesn't feel like he needs a smoke. It's odd and exciting. 

"So, I guess you'll be going now..." Harry says after they've cleaned up and gotten dressed. Louis nods and grabs a cig to put between his lips. Harry shakes his head and hands Louis his phone. 

"Listen... Harry." Louis catches his attention as Harry was turning away. "I'll... Come to your next match yeah? When is it?" Harry thinks. It's Sunday today. Practice for a few days...

"Thursday. Same place." Louis just nods and leaves. Harry goes back to bed. 

When Harry wakes up, he quickly checks his phone and sees that he has to be in for training in thirty minutes. It'll take him that amount of time to walk there if he leaves right this moment. He figures he's going to be late and he groans as he pushes himself up. Bag slung across his shoulder, Harry bolts out the door and listens to the gravel crunch beneath his boots. It's calming in a way, how familiar it sounds from all the times he's taken this path. He checks his phone again and enters the building. Only a few minutes late, not bad. His trainer still gives him a look as he shows up with a shirt on. It's unlike Harry to have one on, usually just his shorts. When he walks up, his trainer questions him. 

"Shirt on today? What, last night with your boyfriend get too rough?" Harry rolls his eyes and allows his hands to be taped. 

"Oh shut up Liam. You know it's not like that." Liam finishes taping Harry's hands before sliding on his gloves. 

"Like what Harry? We both know he isn't your boyfriend. Next time get a little more convincing with your lies. Where did you meet him anyways? The corner?" Now Harry has to hold himself from knocking Liam the fuck out. He doesn't mind him calling him out, but comments about Louis being a slut, or anyone being a slut, didn't go well with Harry. 

"For your information asshat, I met Louis outside of here. He is in no way a slut. Got any other stupid questions before I beat your ass?" Liam throws back his head and laughs. 

"You can't beat my ass. I've taught you all you know. Anyways. Let's get started shall we?" Harry only grumbles out a 'sure' before Liam and him begin sparring. 

After training is all said and done and Harry has blown off some steam, Liam decides to talk to him again. He's sat drinking from a Gatorade bottle when Liam approaches him.

"Is he coming to your next match?" Liam just whispers out. Harry nods his head.

"Yeah. Told him to come. Well, he asked. So we'll see." Now it's Liam's turn to nod his head. They sit in silence for a few minutes. 

"Get his number at all?" Harry furrows his brow and shakes his head. 

"No. Why didn't I get his number? I'm such an idiot. God, I'm so stupid." Harry starts to get angry at himself and Liam has to calm him down. 

"Hey, hey it's okay. You'll see each other Thursday yeah? Get it then." Harry shakes his head and turns away. Liam can see he's still upset. "Why don't you tell me about him?" Harry sighs and looks down. 

"Well, he's really pretty. He has long eyelashes that frame these, these ocean blue eyes and feathery hair that is so soft. And... He smokes. I don't like it but he looks so hot whenever he does it and I can't help but stare at him... He has a nice arse too, Liam. Perfectly round. He's so closed off and I don't even know a lot about him but he's quiet and gentle. The kind of soft you don't see anymore. The kind of soft I haven't seen in years..." Harry's eyes begin to water and Liam pulls him in close. "He's cute and all, but Louis will never replace him. I love him too much." Liam nods and hugs him tighter. 

"I know H. I know. You know that he would want you to fall in love though. He only wanted you to be happy." Harry angrily shakes his head and sniffles. 

"How could he want me to be happy when he left me? When he made me so sad and so angry still? How could he?" Liam sighs. 

"I have no answer for that Harry. We all know that he was sick though, so very sick and he couldn't have gone on in his state." Harry goes silent at Liam's words. He's not wrong. The boy he loved was so sick in the head and Harry couldn't save him. Oh god he tried so hard. But in the end, he crashed and burned. Just like everything in the world. 

"I'll never love any one as much as I love him." Liam nodded and kissed the top of Harry's head.

"I know love, I know. Let's get you home yeah?" Harry only nodded and pushed himself up. After grabbing his duffle bag he turned to Liam. 

"Stay the night?" Liam smiled and nodded. How could he say no to his best friend? 

Harry spent the next few days drinking and training. All he had to look forward to at this point was Thursday evening at seven o'clock when he would fight and win with the feather haired boy watching. His good luck charm of sorts. Only, when Thursday rolled around, Louis didn't show up. And Harry lost his match.


	3. We Stalk our minds

Third Person:   
    Lately Harry's been slipping into a depression. If not laying in bed he's trudging to the gym because he can't even be bothered to work his second job. It's only been a couple days and Harry knows that if he doesn't go in the next couple days he'll be fired. Harry just can't seem to give a damn. He misses his love. He misses his desire. His happiness. Sometimes Harry wonders if he'll ever grasp happiness again. Sometimes Harry wonders that just maybe, his anger and depression has consumed him to the point where he is nothing but an empty shelled boxer. Liam says otherwise. Says he has so much potential and so much love. But his love left. As many times as Harry pushes it aside the memory still haunts his mind. 

Louis finally pushes himself off the ground. It's been three days, or something like that. He can't remember much past going home after Harry's and getting shitfaced. Not like it was his fault, really. His pal Colton dragged him out and offered to buy all of the alcohol. He knows he missed Harry's boxing match, even if he didn't know what day it was. He never knows the day anymore. There was a time when he would keep track of his life and mind but the idea has long since been destroyed. Now he lives a life of scraping up odd jobs and spending money on cigarettes. Once in a while he'll have himself a good shag. There are days though, days where all he can do is lie on the ground and wish himself dead. Why isn't he dead? It would be so easy to find some glass, slit his wrists. He's sure he could find some rope around here somewhere. Or even go to the top of the club he was at, it had a high enough roof. Then his mind wandered back to the boy with eyes as green as forests. Louis thought about his long wavy hair and the way his back looks when he goes to hit his opponent. Yeah, Louis figures he's living just to see Harry fight another day. Beauty like that can't be missed because Louis is having a shitty life. 

By the time Louis decides he needs to see Harry again, it's three hours later and Louis has been wandering around outside again. He forgot his coat but at this point he figured it didn't matter anyways. After getting lost a few times and dropping his pack of cigs, he found the building. It wasn't as loud as the other night, but Louis could still feel the energy from inside the building. He made his way over to the front doors. When he pushed them open he saw a bunch of people sparring and working out. There was a reception desk to his right and he figured that was his best bet. Timidly he walked up and smiled at the lady. 

"Hello, um. Is Harry Styles here?" The lady gave him a smile and looked around but before she could answer a man walked up. 

"What business do you have with Styles?" The man was buff. He had light brown hair in a quiff and his eyes looked like pools of chocolate. Louis looked down shyly. 

"I'm... A friend. I need to talk to him, apologize." The man eyed him up.

"Apologize for what?" Louis shook his head and looked back up. 

"That's something I'd rather keep to myself and Harry." The man looked at the receptionist and back at Louis. 

"Wait here." Louis nodded and looked back at his feet. He shuffled off to the side and waited patiently for the strong looking guy to come back-hopefully with Harry. 

"Louis?" The mention of his name made Louis whip his head around and he took in the sight before him. Sweaty Harry with his hair tied up and shirt off. Louis blushed and looked at him. 

"Hi, Harry. Can we talk? Alone?" Louis whispers out and Harry looks at the man he was with and nods for Louis to follow him. They walk away and stand on a wall near the entrance.

"You didn't come to my last match." Is all Harry says before Louis is hugging him and crying into his shoulder. Harry is startled but hugs him back anyways. It's been a while since he's actually hugged someone. Feels nice.

"I'm-I'm sorry I'm such an idiot and I got fucking lost so my friend picked me up and we went to a club where I got fucking shit faced and I missed your match because I was passed out and a fucking failure and I should have texted you but the truth is I lost my phone charger and my phone died and if I'm being honest here I haven't bought a new one because I spent the last of my money on cigarettes and I know it's horrible but I-" Harry cuts him off by kissing him.

"Louis, you're rambling." Harry whispers against the feathery dirty hair of the blue eyed boy and hugs him tighter. Louis just grips on to Harry like he's his life support and sobs into his chest until Harry is carrying him outside. They sit there for a bit until Harry clears his throat. 

"I'm... Not good at being calm. I get mad easily and I'm good at holding grudges and with you, well. I don't know if I can forgive you. You were the reason I couldn't get out of bed for a few days and why I've been losing my last matches. I mean obviously I can't be mad at you forever, but I need time." Louis pushes himself up from Harry and wipes his eyes. He sniffles and stands up. 

"You need time? I'll give you all the time you need. Call me when you need me again." Louis started to walk away and Harry stands up and calls to him. 

    "Louis please! Just talk to me!" But Louis could only walk away and sniffle as Harry let out an aggravated sound and stormed back inside. 

    "Liam, set up a bag before I knock somebody the fuck out." Harry slurred and Liam only sighed and walked away from the fuming man. 

~~~~~~

    "Hey Liam, wanna go for a drink?" Harry spoke to Liam as he packed up his bag. Liam smiled back at him. It's been a while.

    "Sure mate. There's a bar down the road, wanna go there?" Harry thought about it for a moment. If anything, he needed a strong drink and a good shag. 

    "You know what, let's go to a nightclub. Something new." Liam gave him a look and zipped up his bag. 

    "Something new or someone new?" Harry froze for a moment. He straightened his back and looked at Liam. They stared at each other for a moment before Harry's eyes diverted to the floor. 

    "Doesn't matter." Harry whispered and Liam just sighed and went to pay his best friend on the back. 

    "See you at your place in an hour? I've got somewhere we could go." Harry perked up at that and nodded his head. An hour it is.

    Harry was buttoning up his shirt when the door bell rang. A wide grin spanned his face and when he opened the door he was pleased to see Liam standing there. 

    "Stop smiling so big, you look like a frog." Liam laughed.

    "Shut up! I'm the cutest frog there ever was." Liam gave him a look of disbelief. 

    "Sure, okay. Whatever you say curly." Harry's smiled just got-impossibly-bigger. "What's this? Pre-drink without me?" Harry giggled and offered Liam his drink, who happily accepted. "Woah woah woah, if you're getting some ass tonight, you need to unbutton some buttons." Harry looked at him confused until Liam rolled his eyes and walked over to him. Slowly he undid the top button, making his way half way down before readjusting Harry's collar and pulling him closer. Harry's eyes flicker down to Liam's lip and they're both leaning in. Right before they kiss Harry's phone goes off and they both snap out of their daze. Both boys blush as Harry rushes over to answer his phone. 

"Hello?" Harry answers, unfamiliar with the number.

"Hi-shit this was a bad idea. Sorry." The voice speaks back. Hushed and... Worried almost. 

"Sorry-what? Louis?" Liam's watching him carefully and Harry's eyes widen. It's Louis, gotta be. "How'd you get my number? Why didn't you text me..." Harry trails off and they both just breathe for a second. 

"Shit, Harry I'm sorry. I called on an impulse. Sorry. I'll go." 

"Louis don't do thi-" and Harry tried but Louis had already hung up. He threw his phone down angrily and turned to Liam. 

"Let's go get shit faced." Harry spoke and Liam nodded, pulling Harry out of the building. Harry giggles and it's only now that Liam wonders just how much Harry's has already drank. 

They get to the bar and Harry orders some fruity drink while eyeing up the men around him. Liam gets a couple shots for them and figures they can take a taxi home. He passes a shot to Harry who smiles wildly and downs it. They make the same face and Harry finds himself loving the burn and getting another shot. Time seems to speed by before they know it Harry's finished his fourth drink and hasn't paid for a single one. Liam lets him be his flirtatious self and tells men to back off when Harry gets uncomfortable. An hour later Harry turns to the buff man and tells him he's going to dance. Liam lets him, striking up a conversation with a twink beside him.

Harry gets to the dance floor and before he knows it there's a man behind him and they're grinding bodies together. The man is taller than him and starts to kiss his neck. Harry tips his head to the right and his hair falls over his shoulder. They continue dancing as Harry puts his hands over the mans own and moves them to where he needs attention. The unnamed lad behind him nips at his ear and whispers to him over the music. 

"Let's get out of here yeah?" Harry nods at his words and turns around. 

"Yeah. My place?" The man nods. "Let me tell my friend." Then he grabs the taller guys hand and leads him back to the bar. "Liam, 'm leaving." Harry slurs and Liam shoots him a thumbs up before both boys are stumbling out of the bar and -conveniently- into a waiting taxi. The entire way to Harry's apartment they make out, throwing money at the driver as Harry stumbles into the building. He giggles as he falls straight on his ass and the man helps him up. 

"I'm Adrian, if names matter here." He whispers against Harry's neck as they wait in the elevator. 

"Names Harry. Can I call you daddy for the night?" The man laughs and nods his head. 

"You can call me whatever you want for the night baby." Harry giggles again but his laughter falls short as the elevator doors open. 

"Louis?"


	4. Stuck in the Present

Third person:   
"Harry?" Louis stood up from his position by what seems to be Harry's door. Louis couldn't remember which door quite belonged to Harry, but at least he had the right floor. 

"What... What are you doing here?" Harry stood there stunned as he forgot the man behind him. 

"I... I'm sorry about the call. I actually went to the club and saw you there. Didn't think you'd be the type to actually take someone home." It was only then that Harry remembered the man behind him. It was also then that he noticed Louis had been crying. 

"Oh yeah. Um, this is Aiden." The man behind him takes a step over. 

"It's actually Adrian..." Harry quickly looks up and a deep blush coats his face. 

"Shit, 'm sorry..." Adrian just laughs. 

"No harm done babe. Now, shall we be going?" Harry could tell by the way his hand rested on Harry's hip and the intense look he gave Louis that Adrian didn't fancy sharing. 

"Mmm. We'll talk later Louis." Harry stated as Adrian slowly kissed up his neck. Louis' eyes widened at that and shook his head. 

"Harry can we talk now please. I'll take you somewhere, get you something." Harry just giggled. 

"Right now I need a good fuck." He motioned his head up to beefy man behind him who just smirked. 

"Harry, I could fuck you way better and harder than he ever could." Adrian finally left Harry's side to move in front of Louis. He easily had the smaller boy beat in height by at least five inches. Louis, however, wasn't one to back down. He may have tear stained cheeks sure, but this is Harry we're talking about. The green eyed vixen with legs longer than any job he's ever held and a smile brighter than the sun. No, Louis wasn't giving up easily. Because for once in his life, he found himself wanting a man for more than just his dick or his bank account. 

"Back the fuck up Lewis, he said you'll talk later." Louis just glared at the man. 

"You're like what, 6'3"? How about you take that height and reach some fucking manners. All I wanted to do was talk to him. Fuck off." Adrian sneered at him but it was clear he didn't have any good comebacks to Louis. 

"Whatever, you're just a pathetic loser anyways. Plus you reek of cigarettes. Harry could never have some nobody like you, right babe?" Harry's eyes went wide at the mention of his name. He looked at Adrian and was surprised with himself at the words that came out of his mouth. 

"Get out. Adrian. Just leave. You don't get to be rude to my friends just because you want your dick sucked. Elevator's that way." Harry pointed behind him and both Adrian's and Louis' eyes widened. "Oh and by the way, his name is Louis, not Lewis." Adrian stormed over to him. 

"What the fuck did you just say to me? You don't get to drag me all the way here just to kick me out." Harry raised his eye brows. Sure, he's calmer when he's drunk. But disrespect him or someone he cares about? The anger comes back. 

"So now I can't decide what the fuck to do with my own body? I said no dick head. Get it through your thick fucking skull that I don't want you here any more. Now get out of here before I beat your ass." Adrian laughed at him. 

"You? Beat my ass? I could take you on easily." Louis' eyes widened and Harry threw his head back to bark out a laugh. There was a glint in his eye that Louis noticed. The same glint from Harry's first match. Harry was ready to whoop some major ass, and the man, no matter how much taller, would be badly beaten. He didn't stand a chance. 

"Yeah, no. Pal, you better leave before you like, die or something. He's a boxer." Of course Adrian didn't listen to Louis. 

"Yeah fucking right. You're just trying to protect him." But as he turned around, Harry socked him one right in the jaw that straight up knocked him out. Harry angrily glared at Louis before pulling out his keys. 

"C'mon. Doors this way." Louis timidly nodded before following the tall man. Harry didn't say anything as he unlocked the door and takes his shoes off. The smaller boy follows in suit, sitting on the couch when Harry does. They sit there in silence for a moment, Harry running a hand over his face and Louis' eyes scanning the space. He sees Harry's phone laying on the coffee table and looks back to the curly haired man.

    "So that's why you wouldn't pick up?" Louis asks and Harry lifts his head up from his hands. He looks around and then spots his phone.

    "Oh... Yeah." Harry nods and reaches for the small object. He turns it over in his hand and turns it on. Harry would never admit it out loud, but he was please to see all of the missed calls from Louis. "You tried to call me again?" 

    "Yeah, I was... Being an idiot earlier. And I know I keep apologizing-" 

    "Yeah, a lot." Harry scoffs. 

    "Uh, yeah. A lot. And that's because no argument or hurt should ever go unsolved. At least if you can help it. So here I am, saying I'm sorry and I'm trying not to make life difficult for you." Louis says shyly as Harry stares intensely at him. He nods at looks down at his phone again, noting the missed calls. 

    "To be quite honest, you've made my life difficult from the moment I met you. You still have my sweater don't you? 'S my favourite one." Louis' eyes widen. 

    "Do you want it back? I can go get-" 

    "No, no. If you like it you can have it. Anyways back to what I was saying." Harry clears his throat and Louis shifts "I like you being here, making my life difficult. Making my life worthwhile." Louis starts to smile now. He likes Harry too. "Don't get all smiley and happy now, this is serious" Louis nods. 

    "Sorry, 'm just happy I get to keep your sweater." Harry shakes his head but a fond smile dances across his face anyways. 

    "Tosser. Now back to what I was saying before I was interrupted." The smaller boy shrinks and mutters 'sorry.' "Hey, it's alright. I want to let you know that I can't go in circles like this. I need more than just a run away and an apology. Something more... Permanent." Harry slowly drawls out and Louis thinks he has the most enticing voice ever. The way it dips down at certain points and is so slow it really draws you in. To sum it up, Louis absolutely in love with Harry's voice. 

    "I can do that. I can... Be better. For us. For... You." Louis looks hopefully to Harry and before he knows it Harry is pulling Louis in for a hug and they are laughing with each other. Louis looks into Harry's eyes as he lays on top of him.

    "I really want to kiss you right now." Harry gives the boy with pretty green eyes a toothy smile. 

    "So why don't you?" Louis blushes and hesitantly lowers his face. Their lips are just touching. Not enough to be a kiss just yet. "What are you waiting for?" Harry breathlessly whispers out and for a moment Louis just takes in the sight of Harry's pretty face. His intense eyebrows that right now are so relaxed, his dark eyelashes which fan out on his cheeks so prettily. Not to forget the points of his face where Louis can tell his face bunches up when he's mad. And then Harry opens his eyes the breath hitches in Louis throat. The pretty green of his eyes looks like the Amazon rainforest, with specks of gold swirled around. Harry blinks at him again. 

    "Just admiring the artwork." The feather haired boy whispers back and then closes the gap. It's so slow and sweet and Harry hasn't felt that in so damn long he's afraid to let it go again. Louis has never felt anything like this, all he's ever known is seducing make out sessions and hickies. But this one was so gentle and passionate that both men just laid there for a while and kissed and kissed until Harry shifted. That made Louis shift as well and allow Harry's leg to slot between the both of the tiny boy and Louis whimpered into Harry's mouth. 

    "Harry please." Louis whimpered out again and dipped his hips down again to rub on Harry. The taller boy responds to that by dragging his hands down the boy's body, from his hips all the way to his ass. The gripping action made Louis curl his head into Harry's neck to muffle the sounds coming from his mouth. 

    "What do you want me to do baby? Hmm? Want me suck you off? Or maybe finger that tight little ass of yours. Bet you'd like that huh. Dirty little slut you are." Harry hotly speaks out to Louis who lets out the prettiest of sounds. "What was that? Couldn't hear you baby." Harry chastises and slaps Louis' ass. The smaller boy lets out an 'uh' sound and ruts against Harry, both painfully hard in their trousers and neither acknowledging it. 

    "Want-want to suck your cock daddy." And okay, Harry had never been called daddy before but coming from Louis' lips, he could definitely get used to it. 

    "Not tonight baby, tonight is all about you. How about I fuck that ass of yours yeah? Make you feel really good." Louis nods vigorously into Harry's neck. "Use your words now." 

    "Yes please daddy. Want you so bad, since I first saw you. Please fuck me." Louis says and bites down on Harry's neck, making a nice moan emit from him. 

    "Okay baby, stand up. Strip for me." And with that Harry's chest is cold again and Louis is eyeing him up and down with lust filled eyes. He crosses his arms and grabs the hem of his plain black shirt, slowly and teasingly until Harry can make out the curve of his hips and the dip in his collarbones. Harry sits upright as he makes a little 'turn around' motion with his pointer finger and Louis happily obliges. He sways as he undoes the button and zipper not needing a belt for obvious reasons such as his ass. The half naked boy hooks his thumbs into his pants and boxers so he can take them off all at once. Harry eyes him up hungrily as Louis continues to spread himself out as he bends over. Finally Louis steps out of his pants and turns around to Harry. He bends in front of him and Harry pushes forward to kiss him as Louis undoes the remaining buttons and drags his hand down to Harry's crotch. They are still making out as Harry's pants get taken off and as Louis climbs on top of his lap. Before Louis can continue rubbing himself against Harry, the taller lad holds up two fingers. 

    "Suck." Is all he has to say and Louis parts those pretty pink lips and takes them into his mouth. It's such a hot sight to Harry and he finds himself pushing them father down Louis' throat. The blue eyed boys eyes flutter shut and he moans around Harry's two fingers. Before they get carried away Harry pulls them out of Louis' mouth and Louis wants to pout but before he can two fingers are pushing past the ring of muscle that Louis didn't even know was craving attention. He moans as he leans forward, biting Harry's shoulder. Harry pumps his two digits in and out of the small man, scissoring them and opening Louis up nicely. Harry made the executive decision to slide a third one in, even though it was dry. Louis let out a high pitched 'uh' as he went to pull off. Harry shushed him and pushed his shoulders down. 

    "Hey baby, it's alright, let daddy take care of you. Want me to grab the lube and a condom?" Louis shook his head and looks at Harry. 

    "No condom. I'm clean, 's a promise. Can I please suck your cock and get it wet daddy? I'll be good." Louis begged and Harry but his lip. Tonight is more about Louis, and who is he to deny him of that? He finds himself nodding. 

    "Of course baby. I'm clean too so don't worry." Louis smiled and shimmied down Harry's body until he was on his knees on the floor. Louis is currently snuggled between Harry's thighs and pressed against the couch, already taking the boxer into his mouth. Harry moaned and took a first full of Louis hair as to push him down farther. Louis willed himself to relax and realized Harry was bigger than he remembered. Still, Louis was a good boy and had a job to do. So he slicked Harry up with as much spit as he could until Harry was pulling him up by the hair. This action made Louis tilt his head back and give Harry the view of glossy half shut eyes and swollen pink lips. He pulled Louis up slightly hoping he would get the hint. Louis did, and climbed back on to Harry's lap. Harry rubbed circles into Louis' hips and stopped him from sitting right on Harry's dick. 

    "Hey, is this okay? Don't want to hurt you or anything, and if you want me to stop just tell me." Louis wanted to cry at the sweetness. Most of- all of -the men Louis has been with have just when on with it, not really asking Louis. It was nice to hear Harry making sure he's alright. 

    "Yeah Haz. I'm good. Want this so badly. Please fuck me." Harry smiled at Louis and squeezed his hips again. 

    "Okay. Tell me if you're ever in pain or want me to stop." Louis nods and grabs Harry's aching cock to lead into his hole. The tip slides in and Louis lets out something mixed of a whimper and a sigh of relief. Harry watched Louis' face with arousal and a little bit of concern. That soon changed when Louis fully sank down and Harry's face was contorted into a moan. Both men let out partial screams and Louis arched his back as he moved his hips in figure eights. Harry helped him begin to bounce up and down on his cock. Louis put his thigh muscles to work and tried desperately to find his prostate but Harry could see it wasn't doing it for him. 

    "Want me to help you? Make you feel real good baby?" Louis nodded and furrowed his eyebrows as he still couldn't hit the right spot. So Harry picked Louis up and made the decision to set him on the kitchen table. It was mostly clear anyways, save for salt and pepper shakers that looked like bears. They got pushed off by Louis quickly. "Ready for me to fuck you? Make you scream my name until the neighbours know my name? Have you cum so hard you see stars?" Harry starts off at a teasingly slow pace. It's driving Louis wild and he tries to fuck back onto Harry for more friction. That doesn't happen though, Harry has him pinned down. 

"Yes daddy please I- I need you." Louis whimpers and Harry smirks. He quickens up just a bit, pulling out almost fully and then shoving back in. 

"What do you want me to do baby? Use your words now, good boys use words." Louis whimpers and he just wants to bite Harry and lick every tattoo he has but right now he has bigger needs. 

"Need you to fuck me daddy. So hard I'll have bruises on my hips and a sore arse tomorrow. Want you to mark me up please. Need it." That's all Harry needs before he starts loosening the grip on Louis' hips and going faster. He pulls Louis' legs up and hoists them onto his shoulders to get a better angle and Louis cries out. 

"Oh my god! Right there please daddy pleeeeease." Louis arches his back as intense waves of pleasure come with every thrust against his prostate. Harry meets his needs and keeps pounding into him, touching his neglected cock as well. This sends shivers down Louis and suddenly he needs to cum. 

"D-daddy 'm gonna cum. Can I come please?" And Harry can't say no when Louis is letting out the prettiest moans and has laid himself out for Harry. So he nods his head. 

"Yeah baby, anytime you're ready. Cum for me." And with that Louis lets out a moan louder than he thinks he ever has and paints his chest white. Harry helps Louis ride out his orgasm and when Louis catches his breath he opens his pretty blue eyes. 

"Cum on my face." He says, still slightly out of breath. Harry furrows his brow and slows down. 

"Are you sure...?" Harry sounds unsure but he's still making little noises as he inches closer to release. 

"Yes daddy. It's my night you said, and I want you to cum on my face." Louis bats his eyelashes and Harry allows Louis to push off of him (murmuring something about not being full) and kneeling in front of Harry. He parts his mouth and flutters his eyes closed, letting Harry stroke himself and release onto the boys face. It looks so pretty painted in white, like an artwork so precious you have to pay a thousand dollars to witness. And it's Harry's artwork. He kneels down to Louis' height and starts kissing and licking at the painted cheeks and his button nose. There's still a bit near where Louis caught some in his mouth and Harry kisses the corner of his mouth and then full on kisses him. He reaches down and scoops some of Louis' cum off of his chest and brings it to the boys lips. Louis doesn't even need instruction, just parts his lips and allows Harry to feed him his own cum. It's so sensual and intimate, which is new for the both of them. This whole night is full of firsts though. It's exciting. 

"Okay, we really need to shower now." Louis giggles out after a few more minutes of kissing and Louis sucking on Harry's fingers. Harry laughs and agrees, helping Louis stand up. He holds his hand and swings it as they walk to the bathroom across from Harry's room. Harry makes sure there's two towels and enough peppermint body wash. Then he starts the shower before getting in because really, who wants to be greeted by freezing water? Not Harry that's for sure. So he gets it and pulls Louis in with him. He washes Louis' body and it's the most gentle he's ever seen the man. Usually he's got a hard look on his face or he's angry and sweaty from boxing but now... Now Harry just looks soft. He washes Louis wish such gentleness that he's not even sure this is real. Louis allows him to bring the soap down his bruising hips and throbbing arse. There's no sexual intent right now, just love and caring caresses. 

They dry off and head for bed, Louis snuggled in a pair of Harry's boxers and a big hoodie. Harry thinks Louis looks downright adorable, although he would never admit that. So he just smiles and tugs on a pair of sweats with no boxers. If Louis stared at the imprint at them, Harry didn't have to know. All Harry has to do is snuggle him and fall asleep.


	5. Back to Haunt us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry this took so long to update. I had writers block for a bit and then school got hectic and I'm still trying not to rip my hair out. If you are still actively following this story thank you !!! I love you !!!! A lot happens in this chapter so be prepare to cry, I sure did when writing this. 
> 
>  
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING: DRUG ABUSE AND SUICIDE*

Third Person: 

    Harry woke up in a haze of sorts. He had a bit of a headache, his vision was a bit blurry, and he was hot. He soon figured out why he was so warm though. There was another boy laying in his bed with him. Harry smiled when he saw it was Louis. Memories ran through his head of last night, how sad he first looked compared to how happy he looked later. Harry let Louis sleep as he took in how incredibly tired Louis looked. Not in a sleep sense but in a life sense. Like everything was going smoothly for him and suddenly everything went to shit at once. Harry didn't know if it was death, or maybe drugs. He knows Louis smokes a lot, but maybe his addiction goes past cigarettes. He didn't know, so he just sighed and brushed the hair from Louis' cheek and stared at him sadly. There wasn't much he could do and if Harry was being honest, he was scared. Scared because last time he was in a relationship it was with Zayn and that didn't end well. Nonetheless, Harry just let Louis sleep for a while more as he cuddled into his chest. 

    Harry was just drifting off to sleep again when his alarm went off. The sound shocked Louis awake, and he sat up in a panic. He quickly looked around with his chest heaving and realized he was at Harry's. Louis slumped over with his head in his hands and ran them over his face before looking at Harry. The mans face was back to the usual hard one, his back flexing as he stretched over the bed to turn off the phone. They made eye contact and there was something Louis couldn't quite place in those eyes. 

    "I... I have to go in and train today. You could probably come if you want. I think there's a match later too..." Harry trailed off. Louis took a moment to appreciate the gruff morning voice he had and smiled. 

    "Sure... Can I borrow some sweats or something?" Louis asked and Harry was already over by his dresser and pulling out a pair of light gray sweatpants. Louis happily slipped them on, sneaking on one of Harry's hoodies as well. He watched Harry get ready as he pulled his hair into a bun and slipped on his shorts and trainers. They made there way to the door and Louis slipped on his shoes. He waited for Harry to get out his keys and looked around the flat. It was still a bit messy from yesterday. He looked at the couch and admired it. That's where they fucked, no, made love last night. Louis will never forget last night. I made him feel so safe and warm, like he belonged. Not like the usual meaningless fucks he's come across. Harry noticed the fond smile on his face and tapped his shoulder. 

 

"You ready to go babe? Can't daydream about sex with me forever." Louis hit him on the shoulder and left the apartment, pulling out a pack of cigs. 

"Tosser. Let's go now, we don't want you to be late." Harry's face broke out into a small smile as he shook his head and followed Louis out and down the elevator. Harry hummed a bit and Louis took out a cigarette along with a lighter. He huffed when he noticed he only had three left. Harry rolled his eyes slightly. He hated smoking, but he wasn't about to complain to a chain smoker. So he let out a breath of air and exited the elevator, Louis trailing behind. Louis hummed a song Harry hadn't heard before and pushed his shoulder against Louis' as the elevator opened. They smiled at each other and Harry ducked down to kiss Louis. After pulling away they started their walk towards the building where they first met. 

    It was a warmer day today, unusual to to fall weather in London. December would be coming in just a few short weeks, and Harry would have to decide whether to go home for Christmas or stay home another year. He hasn't had a proper Christmas since Zayn left, and even then it was just watching movies together and splurging on take out. Harry had said it was fine, but he really wanted more. Unfortunately, that couldn't happen with Zayn. Harry is only beginning to realize that. 

   Louis inhaled a lung full of smoke and slowly breathed it out. His life had gotten significantly better over the last couple of weeks. Harry was like a dream to him, a never ending escape. He was starting to realize that Harry had anger issues and that they were both very fucked up. Somehow it had worked out between them, but Louis really didn't want to lose him. Louis knew that if he kept fucking up and hurting Harry, one day he wouldn't forgive him and they would be done. Louis is not sure he would be able to handle that. He looked at Harry and saw him relax as they stepped onto the gravel path. It was quite clear that Harry loved this place more than anything. Louis was beginning to realize that. 

    Harry grabbed Louis' hand and swung them as they entered the building. He nodded to the receptionist as they passed, and Louis recognized her as the one from last week. They walked over to where the same buff man was sitting, waiting for Harry. His eyebrows raised as the two walked up, but didn't say anything. 

    "Well, didn't know you two were talking again..." Liam trailed off and while he tried not to be hostile but sadly that's how it happened. Louis looked away and Harry's hand gripped Louis' tighter. 

    "Yeah, we are. You know Liam, I'm just gonna go to the weight room today. You can have a break." And soon enough he was pushing past Liam and ignoring his words of protest. Louis followed silently, not wanting to get between the two and start something. After all, the two were boxers and were way stronger than him. So he followed Harry. When they reached a room filled with exercise equipment Harry dropped Louis' hand and took the bag off of his shoulder. Louis watched him take off his sweater. He sniffed and wiped his nose as Harry went to get a mat and motioned Louis over. 

    "C'mon. Let's work out together. I'll teach you some easy stuff." Louis nodded and went over to Harry's mat. "Okay, so these are some kind of... Crunches? I don't know but it strengthens the core." Louis nodded along and followed Harry as he sat in a V shape with his legs bent and touched the floor with his hands, switching sides every once in a while. Louis followed in suit, but gave up after a while and let Harry carry on. 

    "Harryyyyy, I'm tired." Louis said after their second set of squats. Harry looked up and set his 12 pound medicine ball down. 

    "Well, you can go sit down then. Unlike some people, some us have to work for an ass." Louis grinned and sat down by Harry's stuff. His gym teacher would be shocked right now. All throughout high school he didn't do a single push up or lift weights. Didn't play basketball or swim. Only thing he did was play footie, and even then he didn't do a lot besides run. 

    "Hey, I'm gonna go on the treadmill." Harry nodded then looked at his shoes. 

    "You don't have proper shoes for that babe." Louis shrugged and looked down at his black Vans. 

    "That's okay, I'll just make them tighter." Louis bent down and pulled the laces so that they were tighter against his feet and stood back up. "All set!" Harry sighed but put the medicine ball down. 

    "Okay, just don't complain if your feet hurt afterwards." Louis smiled and kissed his cheek as he passed Harry. As Louis crossed the space to where the ellipticals were, Liam came in. Louis couldn't hear what he was saying to Harry, so he just started on a pace and tried to go for as long as he could. 

    "Harry, why is he here with you? I thought you guys were fighting? Plus you went home with that guy last night..." Liam looked more concerned than anything, and Harry sighed. 

    "Yeah... Last night I went home with that dude and Louis was there. I ended up knocking him out after he insulted both Louis and I and we went back to my apartment. We apologized to each other and... Ended up fucking." Liam was nodding his head along and widened his head at the last sentence. "Yeah I, I ended up coming on his face." Liam went wide mouthed at that and Harry blushed. 

    "Oh wow... Sounds like you two are on good terms now." Harry nodded and looked over to where Louis was jogging and panting. He looked content though, which Harry was happy for. 

    "Better terms yeah, I actually don't hate him either. Which is weird, because I haven't felt this way since Zayn." Liam looked at him and knew exactly how he felt. He had been there through everything, from the time they met and first hooked up, to the time Harry stayed three nights with Zayn at the hospital. They looked at Louis again, who was now panting heavily and looked as if he could pass out. 

    "Hey Lou! Take a break, I don't want to carry your unconscious body out of here today." Harry yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth to make him louder. Not that he needed it, Harry wasn't exactly the quietest person. Still, Louis grinned and pressed a button on the machine, slowing it down and stepping off. 

    "He's good for you, I can tell. You aren't as tense anymore." Liam said as he fondly looked at the two. Harry nodded as Louis walked over with Harry's water bottle. Liam and Louis sized each other up until Louis stuck his hand out. 

    "Hi there, I'm Louis. I know we may have gotten off on a bad start but I do want to get to know you and like you. Especially if I'm seeing Harry. So, hello." Liam shook his head and chuckled. He shook the tiny man's hand. 

    "Hi Louis. I'm Liam, Harry's best mate. Just so you know I'll break your legs if you break his heart and all that good stuff." Louis nodded, taking it as a fair note. It didn't look like Harry had any older siblings, at least that he knew of, so Liam was the big bad protector.  

    "I can see that. Besides, you two are both boxers and fit, while me..." Louis looked down to pat his tummy. "I just enjoy fries." That made the other two men laughed and Liam patted Harry's shoulder. 

    "He's a good one Harry, you'll have to keep him." Harry gave Liam a frog mouthed smile. 

    "I think I will" With that, Liam left and Louis was beaming. Before they knew it Louis and Harry were packing up and heading home. 

    "That was actually pretty fun. I haven't worked out in such a long while." Harry smiled as he slung his bag over his shoulder. Louis and him looked at each other and walked outside. 

    "You're going to be sore tomorrow, you know that right?" Louis grinned. 

    "I'm already sore, you ass" 

    "I'm pretty sure that's your ass, babe." Louis giggled and hit Harry's arm. They walked in silence back to Harry's place. 

    Harry unlocked the door and threw down his bag. Louis kicked off his shoes along with Harry and followed him to the living room, sitting down on the couch. Louis turned to look at Harry, who just sat with his eyes closed. He admired Harry's face, all of the bumps and anger lines, noting the smile lines deeply embedded by his eyes. Harry looked much older and much more tired than he should, as if he had run his best race in life and then lost by a second. It worried Louis. So he looked away and around the room. Eventually his eyes wandered over to Harry's bookshelf. Glancing over at Harry, Louis stood up and walked over to it. He ran his fingers over the books, not knowing Harry was silently watching him. He pulled at a book, only to have it fall and spill a bunch of photos. Louis went to pick them up when he heard a stern voice.

    "Don't touch that." Harry said just as Louis' fingertips were about to hit the edge of a particular photograph. It was one of Harry and a raven haired boy kissing, at what seems to be a Christmas party. There was tinsel wrapped around them and they were standing under a mistletoe. It was cute. He looked at another where the dark haired boy was holding a stuffed bear bigger than his body. One was the boys eyes, they shined in what seemed to be the sunlight, and they were the prettiest caramel colour. Another held one of Harry sitting cross legged on the bed, clad in a lavender coloured sweater holding tea. Louis looked up at Harry with glossed eyes, only to see Harry in the same state. 

    "Who is this Harry?" Louis said. His voice didn't break, but Louis knew if he spoke again it would. 

    "Zayn." Was all Harry said. He still sat with his back against the couch, but now his face was towards the ceiling. Louis sniffed and wiped at his nose. 

    "Well... Who is he?" Harry shook his head as a tear fell down his face.

    "Nobody. He'll be long gone by now." Harry blinked his eyes open. Louis blinked at Harry and looked at another photo. This time it Zayn and Harry sleeping on each other on the train. 

    "Where is he now?" Harry laughed. Where could he be? 

    "I don't know. Paris. Maybe Milan. Probably Los Angeles, he always wanted to go there." Harry paused for a moment. "Maybe the morgue, who knows" Harry's voice finally cracked with those final words and Louis rushed up to hug him. It was so odd to see the tall boy so vulnerable, but Louis hugged him and shushed him until Harry could breathe once more. They laid there in silence. 

    "What happened, love?" Louis spoke gently, as if one loud noise would startle the boy into sobbing once more. Harry sighed and looked past Louis at the wall. 

    "We... We were so in love. From the first day we met in the supermarket and he tossed me an apple. I was... 17 then. He had the kindest eyes and the goffiest laugh. I remember he asked me out at the same supermarket when we were having a movie night and he tossed me an apple. We dated for a good four years, and he was the sweetest boyfriend anyone could ask for. Not only that, but my mother loved him. She may not have approved of the gay part, but she loved Zayn and that's all that matters to me. Every holiday we would take the train to his mum's and then mine, which always meant double the food and love. Except for the last Christmas we spent together, in which he didn't even look at me as he said 'we're not going.' I was heartbroken, and hell bent on going. So I packed a suitcase for both me and him, bought train tickets to his mum's town, and told him we were going. He looked at me again angrily and said 'no' again. I still don't know what was wrong, but the last year we were together he would always act like that. Angry and lashing out. It made me angry, and I already knew I wanted to be a boxer but Zayn kind of pushed me to it. He made me so mad sometimes but I never wanted to hit him. I almost did one time but... I saw the fear in his eyes and hit the wall instead. It wasn't here, so don't try to find the hole." Harry had said when he noticed me looking around. "So, I took up boxing and was around less and less. I... I think that did something to him, because suddenly he had a lot more band aids on his fingers or elbows and knees, always saying he scraped them or cut them in some strange way and I knew it wasn't true but I was scared to say anything to him. So instead I ignored it, and kind of him too, until Christmas rolled around. He didn't want to do anything so I had to sell the tickets and stay with him. That's what I did. I called our families and told them Zayn was sick and couldn't make the trip. All we did was stay in and drink hot chocolate. The next day I was making us breakfast when I heard a whimper. I went to check on Zayn and he... He had cut open his wrist and was bleeding. I'll never forget the sight. I screamed so loud the entire apartment heard and I ran out of the room to grab my phone. After calling for an ambulance I ran back to Zayn and... I saw the life drain out of his eyes Lou... He was fading so quickly and all I could do was hold him and tell him I love him. He died in my arms Louis, I felt him go limp, saw the last time his chest would rise. The paramedics burst in then, pulling me off of him and rushing to his aid. They shocked him back alive and rushed him out. I didn't see anything after that, only his pale face and his chest rising as he left. I sobbed and sobbed, one of the paramedics refusing to leave me and then eventually carrying me out too, to make sure I wouldn't go into shock, which was already happening. I blacked out. When I woke up I was in a hospital room with Zayn, and he looked so near to death. I cried again, and one of the nurses came over. She assured me he would be alright, but I knew he wouldn't. Not after trying to kill yourself. It was then that I realized that Zayn didn't love me anymore. I knew he wasn't happy with me. I knew he was hurting himself, but I didn't want to believe it. It-It's all my fault Lou" Harry sobbed again and clung on to me. I ran my hand through his hair again and again and shushed him. 

    "It's not your fault baby. There's no way you could've known about that. You did everything you could, and that's all anyone could ask for. It's not your fault." Harry couldn't bring it in him to believe Louis. Zayn had been hurting for so long and there had been so many damn warning signs that Harry should've been able to see them. 

    "No- It- It's all my fault!" Harry sobbed again and Louis pressed a kiss into Harry's hair. He was still straddling Harry's lap, allowing Harry to cling to Louis and bury his face into Louis' neck. 

    "Hey, baby. It's not. Wanna know something good?" Harry nodded but didn't speak. "Before I met you, I wanted to kill myself. I had nothing to live for except drugs and sex. I don't do drugs anymore though. I overdosed on heroine and as I was on the verge of death I realized that I didn't want to die. I wanted to love something, someone. That faded quickly. I went back to cigarettes and alcohol. The suicidal thoughts came back. I had no money for anything. Hell, when I was done high school I wanted to go to Uni, get my degree. Then I met Colton and all of my money went to drugs instead of schooling. I was a sex worker for a long time, until I met you even. That would've been... Five years now. That's a long ass time to be in the industry. I quit once I met you though. Didn't want to do you dirty like that." Louis chuckled. "But I, I did want to die. So, so badly. Then I saw you. You and your kind eyes, and your goofy smile. Your jokes are terrible, but they make my day a little better. I see you, and I know there's still beauty in the world. I know there's still something to fight for. So I stay alive. That's how much you matter. You can't blame yourself for what happened to Zayn because even if you couldn't save him, you saved me." Now Louis was crying as well. He never told anyone about why he was the way he was, Harry was the first. Everything was true though, and they held each other and cried. It felt so good to get everything off of their chests that they cried and cried until they were out of tears. Louis laid Harry down and went to make some tea. 

    He came back with two piping cups and set them down, looking at Harry. He had his arms curled around his body, and was looking up at Louis with the softest, fondest eyes. 

    "Thank you." Harry muttered out and Louis bent down to kiss him. 

    "Thank you yourself." Louis said and kissed him again. He sat on the ground and grabbed his tea, passing Harry his as well. The liquid soothed their throats and made the both of them sleepy. 

    "C'mere Lou." Harry whispered out and Louis was climbing onto Harry without a protest.


End file.
